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It's Ok That You're Not Ok: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

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This is where the book and I part company as the ‘different, but not better’ message becomes ‘different and happy ever after”. Megan Devine offers a loving, holistic, and honest vision of what it means to 'companion each other inside what hurts. Yes, I am different, but I have neither the willingness nor the ability to become happy ever after; however differently happiness may be redefined. Our culture sees grief as a kind of malady: a terrifying, messy emotion that needs to be cleaned up and put behind us as soon as possible”. In wide ranging, insightful, deep conversations, Megan talks with people about their often invisible losses - and what they’ve learned about being seen and supported in difficult times.

Wellness takes a more human, self-kindness centric ‘do what you can and don’t feel too bad if at first, or last, you don’t succeed’ perspective but the book kind of asserts that we will eventually be happy only if we live up to what grief/life ‘asks’ of us. It’s as if we are afraid the full force of our sadness would render us mute, powerless, and unable to go on. In a culture that leaves us all woefully unprepared to navigate grief, Megan Devine's book is a beacon for a better way of relating. Unfortunately, like most books about grief, this one is too much about grieving people, not enough about the object of their grief – and how to relate to it. HUFFPOST Featured on NPR's RADIO TIMES and WISCONSIN PUBLIC RADIO When a painful loss or life-shattering event upends your world, here is the first thing to know: there is nothing wrong with grief.This book made me paranoid I can never say the right thing-no matter what I say is a cliche, has a hidden psychological meaning, or is in some other way wrong. On his way back to see Leanne after several months away, Miles’ car veered off the road, and he was killed. In this beautifully written offering for our broken hearts, Megan Devine antidotes the culture's messed up messages about bearing the unbearable. And yes you’re always grieving but if you’re acting the same in 10 years after as you did 10 days, yeah, something IS wrong and you need help. The book's central message is that grieving people should show themselves kindness and care for their body and mind as much as they can, relying on as many people as can be to do so.

Their therapeutic self-reflection and self-awareness can help their clients process grief, open their hearts to healing, and feel less alone. Today on It’s OK, we discuss the ways grief has upended her life, and the ways that both movement and community have kept her alive - willing, at least most days, to lean into the full experience of life. Did anyone teach you that understanding your grief is the key to being (or becoming) a healthy human being?However, there were some passages where I almost felt like Devine’s writing came across as imprecise. It's OK That You're Not OK is the book I've been waiting for for 30 years--the one I can recommend to any newly bereaved parent, widow, widower, or adult grieving a death. Megan Devine introduces the topic by telling readers that she had been a therapist/grief counselor, giving her clients the standard advice about "getting past" grief, "moving on," "finding closure," etc.

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